I am a goldsmith. I use flexible shaft rotary tools all the time at work and if I had a nickel for every time someone told me they felt like they were at the dentist, I could could put my tools down and never work again.
Generally people make these dentist remarks while I am actively using my flex shaft. Here. I will re-enact it for you.
Me: (working) whiiiz whiizzzzzz whirrrrr whiiz weeeee
Customer: "I feel like I'm at the dentist!"
Me: (enter witty/exasperated comment here, something to the effect of my wishing my dentist gave me jewelry instead of fillings)
See how that makes sense? The noise reminds them, not surprisingly, of the noises one might hear in the dentist's chair, and they make a fitting comment, in appropriate context.
Today was different.
Today I was building a ring from scratch and soldering together several of the small pieces that would make up the gallery.
Soldering. With a torch. And fire. A torch that shoots fire, if you will.
While I was soldering, the woman said, much to my surprise, "It's just like at the dentist!"
I laughed out loud before donning my I-am-in-the-customer-service-industry-and-will-most-likely-be-very-nice-to-you-regardless-of-the-batshit-crazy-things-you-say face and replying, "Yes, just like the dentist."
Hopefully that lady will find my blog one day and realize this letter would have her name in capital letters at the top, if only I had caught it.
Dear lady,
You need to find a new dentist.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Goldsmith,
Allie
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
How to kill the Earth in one easy step.
1. Go shopping.
That's it. Go shopping. Anywhere. For anything.
Everything comes in ballistic packaging that is nearly impossible to open, and it almost always accompanied by yards of receipt paper.
I almost always have reusable bags on me. I have grocery sized bags that fold and zip into medium-ish pouches that I keep in my car. I have medium sized bags that fold up and fit into smaller bags that I carry around in my everyday bag. I am a veritable bag lady! I am making an effort to be green.
Sometimes my efforts are thwarted, usually by sales associates that just don't get what I am trying to do. Associates that rush to used 9685723645 plastic bags for the ten things I want to buy. Associates that look at me like I am speaking a foreign language when I tell them I brought my own bags. Associates who I am clearly inconveniencing beyond belief when I actually ask that they use my one bag for not only my purchases, but (when we check out separately) my husband's as well. What am I thinking with my outlandish demands?!
I digress.
The other day I went and bought myself new earrings. Cute little star shaped cz's in little white gold settings. They came on a card in a little box. Great! Relatively minimal packaging! This was ideal, since I knew I wasn't going to keep anything but the earrings.
After the sales associate rang up my sale, I said to her, "It's all right, I don't need a bag."
Her reply?
"Ohhh, I'm going to give you a bag. Even though it comes in a little box, I'm going to give you a little bag."
Hm. I asked if I needed the bag, since some places don't like when you check out at the jewelry counter or electronics counter or somewhere else within the store and then traipse out the exit looking like the most confident shop-lifter in history. She didn't answer me. She just handed me my little earrings on their little card in the their little box in their (unnecessary) little bag. And then handed me the longer-than-the-bag receipt, detailing how much the earrings should have cost, how much they actually cost, and how much I saved, and then the shorter, second receipt detailing my debit card transaction.
Are you freaking kidding me?!
First of all, I did not need all of that information. The only details of importance were how much I had spent and with what method I paid.
Secondly, I got in our car, put my earrings in, and immediately had more trash on hand than I generally produce in an entire day at work. And that was after trying to be environmentally conscious.
If that's what I got for trying, it boggles my mind to think of what happens when people just don't care and make no effort!
Anyway, next time you go shopping and bring your own bag, and I hope you have a greener sales associate than I did. Because if those of us who are trying to help out our beautiful Earth, stop, then the terrorists have won.
Or something like that.
That's it. Go shopping. Anywhere. For anything.
Everything comes in ballistic packaging that is nearly impossible to open, and it almost always accompanied by yards of receipt paper.
I almost always have reusable bags on me. I have grocery sized bags that fold and zip into medium-ish pouches that I keep in my car. I have medium sized bags that fold up and fit into smaller bags that I carry around in my everyday bag. I am a veritable bag lady! I am making an effort to be green.
Sometimes my efforts are thwarted, usually by sales associates that just don't get what I am trying to do. Associates that rush to used 9685723645 plastic bags for the ten things I want to buy. Associates that look at me like I am speaking a foreign language when I tell them I brought my own bags. Associates who I am clearly inconveniencing beyond belief when I actually ask that they use my one bag for not only my purchases, but (when we check out separately) my husband's as well. What am I thinking with my outlandish demands?!
I digress.
The other day I went and bought myself new earrings. Cute little star shaped cz's in little white gold settings. They came on a card in a little box. Great! Relatively minimal packaging! This was ideal, since I knew I wasn't going to keep anything but the earrings.
After the sales associate rang up my sale, I said to her, "It's all right, I don't need a bag."
Her reply?
"Ohhh, I'm going to give you a bag. Even though it comes in a little box, I'm going to give you a little bag."
Hm. I asked if I needed the bag, since some places don't like when you check out at the jewelry counter or electronics counter or somewhere else within the store and then traipse out the exit looking like the most confident shop-lifter in history. She didn't answer me. She just handed me my little earrings on their little card in the their little box in their (unnecessary) little bag. And then handed me the longer-than-the-bag receipt, detailing how much the earrings should have cost, how much they actually cost, and how much I saved, and then the shorter, second receipt detailing my debit card transaction.
Are you freaking kidding me?!
First of all, I did not need all of that information. The only details of importance were how much I had spent and with what method I paid.
Secondly, I got in our car, put my earrings in, and immediately had more trash on hand than I generally produce in an entire day at work. And that was after trying to be environmentally conscious.
If that's what I got for trying, it boggles my mind to think of what happens when people just don't care and make no effort!
Anyway, next time you go shopping and bring your own bag, and I hope you have a greener sales associate than I did. Because if those of us who are trying to help out our beautiful Earth, stop, then the terrorists have won.
Or something like that.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
I got a new alarm clock today.
This is not earth shattering news.
This isn't even blog-worthy news, really.
Our old alarm clock sucked, so a friend gave us his old one when he got himself a new one. What he failed to make us understand was the fact that the display on his old alarm clock was BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN. This makes sleeping difficult if you are facing the alarm clock even a little bit. It was bright enough that you could just about read by it. I already have trouble sleeping at night, so this new celestial body next to my face did not help. And, for the record, we kept it on the less-bright of the two settings. There was a setting that was EVEN BRIGHTER!!! It lit up the entire room, no exaggeration.
Some diabolical alarm clock designer somewhere must have decided that one sun was not enough for this nice planet of ours. So they made a second one, trapped it in a nice looking piece of electronics, and only had it be noticeable while unsuspecting people were trying to sleep. There is no other reasonable explanation.
Anyway, Joe and I finally bought a new alarm clock. It's blue, which makes me happy. It plays and charges my iPhone, which makes me happy. And the display has three brightness settings, the darkest of which is juuuust bright enough to make out the time in a dark room.
Unfortunately, it will still wake me up way before I am ready, and on a daily basis. Oh well. Necessary evil.
This isn't even blog-worthy news, really.
Our old alarm clock sucked, so a friend gave us his old one when he got himself a new one. What he failed to make us understand was the fact that the display on his old alarm clock was BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN. This makes sleeping difficult if you are facing the alarm clock even a little bit. It was bright enough that you could just about read by it. I already have trouble sleeping at night, so this new celestial body next to my face did not help. And, for the record, we kept it on the less-bright of the two settings. There was a setting that was EVEN BRIGHTER!!! It lit up the entire room, no exaggeration.
Some diabolical alarm clock designer somewhere must have decided that one sun was not enough for this nice planet of ours. So they made a second one, trapped it in a nice looking piece of electronics, and only had it be noticeable while unsuspecting people were trying to sleep. There is no other reasonable explanation.
Anyway, Joe and I finally bought a new alarm clock. It's blue, which makes me happy. It plays and charges my iPhone, which makes me happy. And the display has three brightness settings, the darkest of which is juuuust bright enough to make out the time in a dark room.
Unfortunately, it will still wake me up way before I am ready, and on a daily basis. Oh well. Necessary evil.
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